Growing My Family Blog - You're Not Alone

There are moments on the family-building journey that feel like the earth shifts beneath your feet. Perhaps one of the most profound of these is when you receive news, or come to the understanding, that the path to parenthood through biological conception with your own eggs or sperm, or carrying a pregnancy yourself, isn't going to be an option for you. This might come after a long "Diagnostic Phase," as part of the "Decision Phase," or even after rounds of unsuccessful "Treatment." Whatever the timing or the specific circumstances – whether it’s due to medical conditions, genetic factors, age, the impact of past treatments like chemotherapy, or other deeply personal reasons – this realization can be utterly devastating. It’s a moment where a deeply held dream, perhaps one you’ve carried for a lifetime, collides with a stark and painful reality. If you are standing at this particular crossroads, if your envisioned path to family has irrevocably changed...

If you’re on the journey of trying to build or grow your family, especially when it involves the complexities of infertility or alternative paths, you know it’s more than just a series of medical appointments or logistical steps. It’s an emotional odyssey. It’s a path often filled with moments of intense hope, deep uncertainty, confusing information, and decisions that feel like they carry the weight of the world. And through it all, one of the most pervasive feelings can be a profound sense of isolation – that feeling that no one truly understands what you’re going through. You might have a loving partner, supportive family, or caring friends. You might have an excellent medical team providing expert guidance. These are all invaluable. But there’s a unique, almost magical, power that comes from connecting with people who are walking, or have walked, a remarkably similar path to your own. This, dear friend, is the incredible power of peer support. Here at GrowingMyFamily, peer support ...

Hey there, Friend! I’m writing this to you today from a place of deep understanding, a place I’ve unfortunately inhabited more than once in my life. I want to open my heart a little, to share a glimpse into the profound sadness that can wash over you during what we call the "Discovery Phase" of infertility – that time when the first whispers of doubt turn into a roar, when worry becomes a constant companion, and when the wondering about your future, your body, and your dreams feels utterly consuming. If you are in that space right now, if an overwhelming sadness is your closest confidante, please know this: I see you. I feel you. And I remember that ache as if it were yesterday. My own story with infertility didn’t begin with a gentle nudge or a slow dawning. It began with a stark medical pronouncement when I was just 16, after emergency surgery. The doctor, delivering news that would forever alter the landscape of my future, told my parents and I that I would likely struggle...

You’ve embarked on an incredible journey to bring your child into the world, a path paved with love, excitement and intention. As you hold your precious little one, or dream of the day you will, your heart is undoubtedly overflowing with love and a fierce desire to give them the very best in life. And part of that "very best" involves sharing with them their unique and beautiful origin story. We know, here at GrowingMyFamily, that the idea of "openness" in donor conception – being honest with your child about how they were conceived – can sometimes feel daunting. It can stir up a whole host of anxieties and "what ifs." You might worry about how they’ll react, what questions they’ll ask, how it might impact their sense of identity, or even how it might affect your bond with them. These fears are so incredibly normal and understandable. It takes immense courage to navigate these tender conversations. But we also believe, based on the experiences of countless...

Hey there Friend! If you’ve journeyed with us through the various, often intense, phases of infertility – from the first whispers of "Discovery," through the complexities of "Diagnostics," the weight of "Decisions," the rollercoaster of "Treatment," and the tender hope of "Anticipation," perhaps even to the profound joy of "Victory" – you might be wondering, "What now?" Is the journey over? Does life just snap back to how it was before, or to some idealized "normal"? Here at GrowingMyFamily, we understand that the impact of infertility is often lifelong. It shapes us, changes our perspectives, and becomes an indelible part of our story. That’s why we have a phase dedicated not just to an endpoint, but to an ongoing state of being: welcome to "Wellbeing." This phase isn't defined by a specific outcome, because it's designed to support you through the rest of your life, embracing all the bea...

If you’re walking the difficult and often heartbreaking path of infertility, you know it’s a journey laden with a heavy backpack of emotions – grief, anxiety, hope, frustration. And one of the heaviest, most corrosive items in that backpack can often be blame. Sometimes, that blame turns inward with a vengeance: "It’s my fault." "My body is failing me." "If only I had [eaten differently, stressed less, started trying sooner, chosen another path]." That relentless inner critic can be deafening, layering shame and guilt on top of the already immense pain of longing for a child. Other times, in moments of deep frustration or despair, blame might subtly (or not so subtly) get directed outwards: "It’s my partner’s 'fault' because of their diagnosis." "It’s the doctor’s 'fault' for that failed cycle." "It’s my friend’s 'fault' for being insensitive," or even a diffuse anger at the universe for the sheer unfai...

Hey there, Friend!  Welcome back to the GrowingMyFamily blog, a space where we navigate the heartfelt, sometimes bumpy, road of family building together. Today, we're going to touch on a concept that might initially feel a bit counterintuitive, especially when you're in the throes of the "Discovery Phase" of infertility – that period filled with questions, seeking answers, and a deep longing for a different reality. That concept is acceptance. Now, I know what you might be thinking. "Acceptance? Accept this uncertainty? Accept that things aren't going as planned? Doesn't that mean giving up? Doesn't that mean I'm not fighting hard enough?" These are such valid questions, and honestly, ones many of us have wrestled with. But what if acceptance, particularly in this context, isn't about resignation or defeat? What if, instead, it’s a powerful, active stance that can actually bring a surprising amount of peace and strength, right here in the...

Welcome to "Victory!" This isn't just a phase; it's a destination you've fought for, dreamed of, and perhaps at times, doubted you'd ever reach. That moment – the one where you finally hold your baby in your arms, feel their weight, breathe in their scent – is a culmination. All the appointments, the injections, the procedures, the emotional rollercoaster, the heartache, the waiting... it has all led to this. This precious, perfect, tiny human. It's a moment so profound, so overwhelming, it deserves not just celebration, but reverence. Here at GrowingMyFamily, we understand that this pinnacle of joy is also the beginning of an entirely new adventure, one filled with its own unique landscape of emotions and adjustments. The arrival of your child is a monumental shift, and it's perfectly normal for immense happiness to coexist with a host of other feelings and challenges. This victory is multifaceted, and we’re here to navigate every beautiful, messy, wo...

Hey there, Friend! If you’re reading this, chances are you’re approaching a milestone that feels both monumental and heart-wrenching: the end of your maternity or paternity leave. For any new parent, this transition back to work can be a whirlwind of emotions. But when your journey to parenthood was paved with the challenges of infertility, this particular goodbye to full-time baby bliss can carry an extra layer of poignancy, a unique kind of bittersweet ache. You fought so hard for this. You endured the treatments, the waiting, the emotional highs and lows, all for the dream of holding this precious baby in your arms. And for these past few weeks or months, you’ve been immersed in their world – the sleepy cuddles, the milky smiles, the tiny fingers wrapped around yours, the rhythm of feeds and nappy changes. This bubble of new parenthood, so intensely longed for, has been your entire universe. And now, the calendar page is turning, and the "real world" beckons. More Than Jus...

Hey there Friend! If you’re reading this, you might be standing at a beautiful, significant, and perhaps even a little daunting threshold: you’ve made the incredible decision to become a parent on your own terms, to build your family as a Single Parent by Choice (SPBC) Or maybe you’re deep in the contemplation phase, exploring this path with a mix of excitement and trepidation. Wherever you are on this specific journey, can we just pause for a moment and acknowledge the immense courage, thoughtfulness, and love that fuels such a profound choice? Deciding to become an SMBC is not a casual undertaking. It’s a path often born from deep self-awareness, a powerful desire to nurture, and a clear-eyed understanding of your own strength and capacity. And yet, once that internal decision solidifies, another journey often begins: the journey of sharing your choice with the world, or at least with your important people. This can bring its own unique set of emotions and considerations. Let’s talk ...

If you’ve journeyed through the intense "Treatment Phase," with all its appointments, medications, and emotional fortitude, you might now find yourself stepping into a new, yet equally charged, landscape: what we at GrowingMyFamily call "The Anticipation Phase." And wow, what a uniquely potent mix of emotions this particular phase can bring! This is often the period after a positive pregnancy test, that moment you’ve longed for, worked for, and perhaps even despaired of ever reaching. It might also be the wait after an adoption match, or while anticipating the arrival of a child through surrogacy. It’s a time ostensibly filled with joy, yet for those who have walked the path of infertility or alternative family building, it’s rarely that simple. It’s all about waiting… but there can be so much more bubbling just beneath the surface, and often, right on top of it. We know this time can be incredibly stressful, in a way that people who haven't experienced prior st...