Growing My Family Blog - You're Not Alone

Hey there, Friend! If you’ve found your way here, there’s a good chance something in your heart feels tender right now. Maybe you’re just beginning to wonder why building a family isn’t as simple as you thought it would be.  Maybe you’re in the middle of appointments, waiting rooms, and decisions that feel heavier than you expected.  Or maybe you’ve been on this road for a long time already—carrying hope, grief, courage, and exhaustion all at once. Wherever you are today, we want you to know something gently and clearly: You are not alone. And you were never meant to do this by yourself. That’s where GrowingMyFamily begins. So… who is GrowingMyFamily? GrowingMyFamily isn’t just a website.  It isn’t just information.  And it isn’t just another place telling you what you “should” do next. At its heart, GrowingMyFamily is a community of people who truly understand the emotional side of building a family—because many of us have lived it ourselves. We are individuals and ...

There are moments, dozens of times a day, when I look at my sons and my breath catches in my chest. I watch them laugh, a full-bodied, uninhibited roar of joy, and I am flooded with a love so immense it feels like it could power a city. And, occasionally,  in that moment, I see it clear as day: They look just like their dad. I don’t mean my husband, their loving father who raises them day-in and day-out. I mean their other dad. The man who, along with their mom, chose to build their family alongside ours through embryo donation. They have their other dad's smile. They have their other dad's eyes. And my feeling in that moment is a complex cocktail of wonder, gratitude, and a love that stretches across two homes. A Note on Our Language (And Our Family) Before we go any further, we want to gently address the language we use, because it’s at the very heart of our family’s story. In our home, our sons have two moms and two dads. We know this might be jarring for some to read. We wa...

Hey there friend! Let's talk about how much things can change. If someone had told me nearly fifteen years ago, when our family was just beginning its adoption journey, what our life would look like today, I would have probably laughed. Or cried. Or both. The person I was back then… I almost cringe thinking about her. She thought she knew everything about how to be a good adoptive parent. The truth is, I had no idea. It feels vulnerable to admit that, but maybe you understand. Maybe you’ve had moments on your own journey where you look back at a past version of yourself with a strange mix of embarrassment and compassion. The things I was so sure of then have been quietly, gently replaced over the years. They've been replaced by a deeper understanding—an understanding that came from listening, really listening, to other adoptive parents, and most importantly, to adult adoptees themselves. Their wisdom has been my greatest teacher, showing me what our kids truly need, the importa...

Some moments in life are so pivotal, so charged with emotion and anticipation, that they etch themselves into your memory with vivid clarity. For us, one such moment unfolded on a Thursday afternoon in May. The setting was unassuming: a corner table at a Tim Hortons. But what happened there wasn't just a meeting; it was the beginning of a new chapter, the day our family story expanded in the most beautiful and unexpected way. It was the day we first met our younger sons' genetic parents. Our journey to this Tim Hortons table had been, like so many of yours, one filled with hope, longing, and the unique path of donor conception. We had chosen to build our family using donor embryos—a decision we made with careful thought and immense gratitude. We knew, intellectually, that this meeting was important, a step towards the open and honest family we envisioned. But nothing quite prepared us for the emotions of that afternoon. There was a nervousness, of course. What would they be lik...

Every year, it's the same. It’s not a conscious thought at first, but a quiet pull in my soul as the calendar prepares to flip. As the last days of February give way to the promise of March, I find myself looking out the window a little more often, my gaze lingering on the oak tree in our front yard. It’s an anniversary my heart keeps, even when my mind tries to stay busy. It’s the anniversary of a loss. The anniversary of a hope. The news itself wasn’t a surprise, not really. The numbers had been decreasing with each blood draw. My head understood the clinical reality; my logical brain knew what was coming. But knowing a storm is on the horizon and standing in its full, terrifying force are two vastly different things. I remember it was a hot, late August day when it happened. The emotional pain of watching my husband scoop up what would have been our longed-for, much-loved child from the bathroom floor is a memory etched into my soul. With a tenderness that I will love him for un...

The paths to building a family are as varied and intricate as the families themselves. Each journey, with its unique twists and turns, shapes us, teaches us, and expands our hearts in ways we might never have anticipated. My own path to the family I cherish today has been woven with distinct, yet beautifully interconnected threads: first, the experience of biological motherhood, then the profound journey of adopting our three children, welcoming another biological child and later, the path of welcoming our two younger sons through the use of donated embryos. It's this rich tapestry of experiences, particularly the deep lessons learned as an adoptive mom, that I believe uniquely prepared my heart and mind for embracing motherhood again through donor embryos. It wasn't about one path being "better" or "easier," but about how each experience informed the next, deepening our understanding of what family truly means. If you're navigating your own complex path...

If you’re on the path of trying to build or grow your family and finding it more challenging than you ever imagined, we first want to say: we see you. The journey through infertility, in all its forms, can feel like navigating a vast, uncharted ocean – filled with moments of hope, swells of uncertainty, sudden emotional storms, and often, a profound sense of being adrift and alone. It’s deeply personal, incredibly demanding, and can touch every aspect of your life. But here’s a truth we hold dear at GrowingMyFamily: you don’t have to go through it alone. We understand that this path is more than just medical appointments and treatment protocols. It's an emotional marathon, a test of resilience, and a deeply human experience that requires a special kind of support. That’s why we’ve built our community and our approach around a simple yet powerful method, one that acknowledges the whole of you – your mind, your heart, and your need for connection. Our Method: Learn, Share, Reflect – ...

Hey there, Friend! A huge, heartfelt welcome to GrowingMyFamily! If you’ve found your way here, chances are you’re navigating the often winding, sometimes overwhelming, and deeply personal path of trying to build or grow your family. And if that path is feeling a little rockier or more uncertain than you anticipated, we want to tell you something, right from the start, from the very bottom of our hearts: you are definitely not alone. That feeling of isolation? That sense that no one truly understands what you’re going through? That’s exactly why we created this community. We’ve been there. We get it. And our biggest mission is to ensure you feel seen, heard, and supported every single step of the way. Your Trusty Roadmap for The Journey Ahead Think of this little introduction, and indeed our whole GrowingMyFamily approach, as your trusty roadmap for the journey ahead. We know this path can be unpredictable, filled with unexpected turns and emotional landscapes you might not have been p...

Our family’s story is a bit like a beautiful, intricate quilt, stitched together with threads of biology from my eldest daughter, then enriched by the vibrant, life-altering colors of adopting our three wonderful sons, the biological daughter we share and most recently, expanded further by the unique and hopeful path of welcoming children through donated embryos. Each square, each pattern, tells a part of our journey, and every single thread is essential to the warmth, the resilience, and the boundless love that defines us. It was perhaps the profound lessons from these earlier chapters of motherhood – first experiencing that primal biological connection, and then the equally powerful, heart-stretching experience of adoption – that paved the way for how we approached donor conception. Our hearts and minds were already wide open, already deeply convinced that family is built on so much more than shared DNA. We had lived the truth that love makes a family, in all its diverse and glorious...

We’re Nicole and Gabe, and before we say anything else, we want to welcome you to GrowingMyFamily. This community, this space, is truly our passion project, and it was born directly from our own long, winding, and often challenging journey through the world of infertility. We’re now parents to seven incredible kids, a lively, loving bunch who joined our family through a beautiful tapestry of ways: through marriage, through the experience of adoption (including an amazing sibling group of three!), through IUI, and through embryo donation. It’s funny, Gabe originally envisioned a family of perhaps two children, while Nicole, well, my dream was always a bit closer to infinity! So, like any good partnership, we "compromised" with seven. Our kids now range in age from 18 all the way down to a precious infant, and our home is a symphony of joyful chaos, deep love, and constant learning. Addressing the Elephant in the Room: Our Big, Beautiful, Sometimes Complicated Family Now, we k...

Hey there, Friend! If you're reading this, chances are some of these thoughts and feelings might sound painfully familiar. Perhaps you're feeling completely overwhelmed by the emotional rollercoaster that is infertility. One day, your heart is soaring with hope, the next it’s plummeting with disappointment. It’s exhausting, isn't it? That constant whiplash of emotions can leave you feeling dizzy, disoriented, and desperately wishing for solid ground. Maybe you crave a genuinely safe space to share your true feelings without judgment . A place where you don't have to put on a brave face, where you don't have to censor your sadness, your anger, or your fear. A place where you can just be, in all your messy, human complexity, and be met with understanding, not platitudes. Are you searching for a glimmer of hope, a whisper of encouragement on a journey that sometimes feels shrouded in darkness and uncertainty ? It’s so easy to lose sight of the light when you’re deep in...