Growing My Family Blog - You're Not Alone

  Hey there, Friend! Have you ever been at a holiday party, laughing at a story one minute, and then felt a sudden, sharp pang of sadness the next? Have you ever felt genuinely happy for your pregnant sibling while simultaneously feeling a wave of jealousy and grief? If so, welcome to the "both/and" holiday experience. It’s the confusing, messy, and completely normal reality of navigating infertility during this season. Society often tells us we have to pick one emotion, but that’s not how hearts work. You can feel both grateful for what you have and sad about what you don't. You can feel both joy for others and pain for yourself. There is no "right" way to feel right now. Your emotions are your internal compass, guiding you toward what you need. Let's make room for some of the most common (and conflicting) feelings that show up: Anger: It's okay to be angry that this is your reality. Angry at your body, angry at the universe, angry that something tha...

  Hey there, Friend! Let's talk about the grief you're carrying. It can feel invisible to the outside world, can't it? There are no sympathy cards for the child you don't have, no casseroles dropped off at your door for the dream that feels like it's slipping away. During the holidays, when families are front and center, this invisible grief can feel heavier than ever. You might find yourself crying for reasons you can't quite name, or feeling a deep, hollow ache in your chest when you see a family decorating their tree. This is the grief of infertility. It’s the mourning of a future you’ve planned in your heart, and it is real. Let's give it a voice: It's the Grief of "What Ifs": You're not just grieving the lack of a baby right now; you're grieving all the future moments you've imagined. First steps, first words, and yes, first Christmas morning. It's a grief for a lifetime of memories you are fighting so hard to have. It...

  Hey there, Friend. Does it ever feel like the term "holiday blues" is too simple, too flimsy for what you're experiencing? It’s not just a fleeting moment of sadness. For so many of us on this journey, it’s a heavy blanket of grief that can feel suffocating when it seems like the rest of the world is singing with joy. It’s the empty chair at the dinner table you’ve been dreaming of, the stocking you wish you could hang, the family photo that feels achingly incomplete. This feeling is profound, and it deserves to be acknowledged. The pain of infertility doesn't take a vacation for the holidays; in fact, this season often magnifies it, reflecting your longing back at you in every shop window. Understanding the "why" behind your feelings can be incredibly validating. It’s a complex combination of triggers: The Overwhelming Focus on Children: From Santa to school pageants to unwrapping gifts, the holidays are intensely centered around children. Every traditio...

  Hey there, Friend. The pressure to be "merry and bright" can feel suffocating when your heart is heavy, can't it? From the moment the first carol plays in a grocery store, society bombards us with images of pure, uncomplicated joy. Every commercial, every social media post, every holiday movie seems to scream a single message: this is the season for happy families and fulfilled dreams. When your own reality doesn't match that flawless picture, it's easy to feel like you're failing at the holidays, like your sadness is a stain on a perfect, festive canvas. But what if "holiday spirit" didn't have to mean forced smiles and cheerful carols? What if, this year, it simply meant being true to yourself, in all your messy, beautiful, and authentic feelings? Choosing to protect your heart is not the same as being a Grinch. Let's be very clear about this, because it's a crucial distinction we talk about often in our GrowingMyFamily community. A G...

  Hey there, Friend. It happens without warning, doesn't it? You’re walking through a store in early November, minding your own business, and there it is: the first display of twinkling lights and shiny ornaments. For a split second, a wave of nostalgia might wash over you, a memory of a simpler time. But then, just as quickly, a different feeling settles in your stomach—a quiet dread, a heavy sigh. It’s the feeling that a season of joy for everyone else is about to be a season of survival for you. If you feel like you’re on the outside of the holiday cheer looking in, we want you to hear this loud and clear: You are not broken. Your feelings are a completely normal response to navigating a painful, personal journey during a very public, family-focused time of year. Here at GrowingMyFamily, we understand that feeling of bracing for impact as the holidays approach. It’s an emotional armor you didn’t ask to wear, but you put it on to protect yourself from painful questions, pregnancy...

  Let’s talk about the weight of history. On this family-building journey, our past experiences can feel like heavy baggage we carry everywhere. The failed cycles, the negative tests, the losses, the disappointments—they all leave their mark. And sometimes, that mark feels like a permanent stain, a prophecy of what’s to come. We start to see our past results not as isolated events, but as destiny. "I had a failed transfer last time, so this one will fail too." "My AMH levels were low, so I’ll never get enough eggs." "I’m too old for this to work." "My body just isn’t meant for this." This is where the narrative can become dangerous. This is where the data points from your past start to dictate your future. And this is where we need to introduce a powerful, liberating truth that can change everything: The past is data, not destiny. In our GrowingMyFamily community, we see this truth play out every single day. We see women who have been told it...