Growing My Family Blog - You're Not Alone

Hey there, Intended Parents! The day you’ve dreamed of, planned for, and yearned for is finally approaching, or perhaps it has just arrived: the birth day of your precious baby, welcomed into the world through the incredible experience of surrogacy. This is the culmination of so much hope, effort, trust, and love. It’s a moment unlike any other, filled with an intensity of emotion that can take your breath away. After months of anticipation, of supporting your surrogate, of preparing your hearts and home, the arrival of your child is a monumental event. But what does this unique birth experience look like for intended parents? And what are some of the emotions and practicalities to navigate in those first few hours, days, and beyond? The Birth Day: A Symphony of Emotions and Logistics The birth itself is a powerful experience, and your role as intended parents will have been discussed and planned with your surrogate and medical team. Anticipation and Nerves: The lead-up can be a whirl...

Hey there, Loving Family Member! If you’re reading this, it’s likely because your family has been blessed, or is about to be blessed, with a precious child who has a unique and wonderful start to their story – they were conceived with the help of a donor. Your heart is full, you’re excited to welcome this little one (or to continue loving them as they grow!), and you want to be the most supportive grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, or cherished family friend you can possibly be. That desire to love well is a beautiful thing, and it’s the perfect starting point. Navigating how to best support a donor-conceived child and their parents might feel a little new, perhaps even a bit confusing at times. You might wonder about the "right" things to say or do. But please know, the most important ingredients are already in your heart: love, acceptance, and a willingness to understand. Here at GrowingMyFamily, we believe that an informed, loving extended family is an incredible gift to an...

Alright, Gents. Let’s talk about those fourteen days (if your partner is anything like mine you might actually know the results a lot sooner).... You know the ones. The two weeks that feel like two months, maybe even two years. The infamous "Two-Week Wait" – or the 2WW, as it’s known in the fertility treatment world. If you’re on this family-building rollercoaster, chances are you’ve either stared down the barrel of a 2WW, you’re in one right now, or you know one is looming on the horizon. And let me tell you, from one guy to another, it’s a unique kind of mental marathon. For our partners, it’s often a period of intense physical awareness, symptom-spotting, and hoping for (or dreading) every little twinge. But what’s it like for us? We’re not feeling the potential early signs of pregnancy in our own bodies. We’re not the ones whose hormones might be doing a wild dance. So, where does that leave us? Often, it leaves us in a strange limbo: part anxious observer, part hopeful c...

Hey there, Friend! If you’re reading this, you’ve likely made a courageous and deeply considered decision: to build or grow your family through the beautiful path of surrogacy. This is a journey of immense hope, love, and intention. And as you embark on this adventure, or perhaps as you’re already well into it, the thought of sharing this news with your extended family – parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, and uncles – might be on your mind. Sharing such personal and significant news can bring a mix of emotions. You’re excited about your path, hopeful for your future child, and deeply grateful for the possibility that surrogacy offers. At the same time, you might feel a little apprehensive about how your family will react. Will they understand? Will they be supportive? Will they have questions or concerns you’re not sure how to answer? These are all normal feelings. Talking about surrogacy, especially with family members who may not be familiar with it, requires thoughtfulness, pat...

If there is one lesson that infertility teaches with brutal efficiency, it is this: you are not in control. You are not in control of your cycle's timing, the number on your lab report, or the way your body responds to medication. You are not in control of how many follicles grow, how many embryos survive, or whether one decides to implant and thrive. Your life, which you once navigated with a sense of agency and a belief that hard work leads to desired results, has suddenly become a series of waiting rooms. Waiting for appointments, waiting for phone calls, waiting for results. You are a passenger on a journey you didn't ask for, on a timeline you can't predict, heading toward a destination that is not guaranteed. This profound loss of control is maddening. It can leave you feeling helpless, anxious, and desperate to grab onto anything that gives you a sense of influence. The Cruel Illusion of Control This is why so many of us become the "perfect patient." We buy...

If you are considering adoption, or are already an adoptive parent, you know the narrative our culture loves to tell. It’s a beautiful story of rescue and redemption, of a child being given a "forever family." And that story holds a vital truth: the love you have for your child is immense and life-changing. But there is another truth that we must hold right alongside it. It is quieter, more complex, and often much harder to talk about. It is this: Adoption, at its very root, is born from loss. And for the child, that loss is a trauma. This is not a reflection on you or the beauty of your family. It is the fundamental reality of what it means to be adopted. Understanding this isn't meant to diminish your joy; it's meant to deepen your compassion and make you the most effective, attuned parent you can be. The Primal Wound: Why Even Newborns Experience Trauma One of the most difficult concepts to grasp is that a baby adopted at birth still experiences a profound, foundat...

You’ve made the decision. You’ve chosen your clinic. Your heart and mind are aligned, and you are ready to move forward, to finally take that next step in building your family. And then, you hit the first, and often most challenging, part of the donor conception (DC) journey: the wait. In a process where you want nothing more than to be proactive, so much of the initial phase is about being patient. Waiting for a donor match, waiting for legal clearance, waiting for cycles to sync, waiting for test results. This feeling of being "on hold" can be incredibly frustrating and emotionally taxing. It’s a unique kind of limbo, and here at GrowingMyFamily, we want you to know that if you’re feeling this, you are not alone. This experience is a deeply understood part of the DC path. This isn't just a logistical delay; it's an emotional state. Let's talk about it with the transparency and shared experience that holds this community together. The Unique Emotional Landscape o...

Hey there Friend! Have you been living in the unknown? It’s that in-between place, the emotional limbo that settles in after a setback or during a long period of uncertainty. It's a heavy, quiet time filled with the exhausting work of processing, grieving, and weighing options until they all blur together into a single, overwhelming question mark. In the space, the world can feel muted, your future indistinct, your energy stagnant. It’s the waiting room of the heart, and it can feel like you might be stuck there forever. And then, one day, it happens. Maybe it's in a quiet conversation with your partner that stretches late into the night. Maybe it's during a long walk alone, with nothing but the rhythm of your own footsteps for company. Maybe it's a slow dawning that has been building for weeks. A decision is made. A path is chosen. It could be the decision to try another cycle with a new protocol, to take a restorative six-month break, to begin the adoption process, to...

The sun rises and sets. The emails pile up in your inbox. Your friends post photos of their weekend plans, their work promotions, their ordinary, Tuesday-night dinners. The world, in all its relentless, beautiful, and sometimes maddening normalcy, just keeps spinning forward. But inside your own heart, time has stopped. Following the news of a failed cycle, a painful loss, or a difficult diagnosis, it can feel like you’ve been encased in a soundproof bubble. You can see the world moving outside, but you can’t feel its rhythm. You are living in a different timezone, a different reality, where everything is suspended in the heavy air of your own grief. This profound sense of disconnect—of being utterly out of sync with the rest of the world—is one of the most isolating experiences on this journey. The Stillness is Not a Flaw; It's a Function Why does this happen? Why can’t we just "keep up"? Because your heart and mind have hit a necessary pause button. Grief and disappoint...

Hey there, Friend! If you’re navigating the world of fertility treatment, you’ve probably encountered the archetype. You may have even tried to become them. We're talking about the “perfect patient.” They walk into every appointment looking composed, armed with a color-coded binder and a list of well-researched, intelligent questions. They track every symptom in a dedicated app. They never complain about the bruises blooming on their stomach or the hormonal headaches that cloud their afternoons. They can recite their medication protocol flawlessly, take every pill on the dot, and when the nurse asks, “How are you holding up?” they answer with a brave, bright smile. They operate under a quiet, desperate belief: if they do everything perfectly, they can somehow control the outcome. Here at GrowingMyFamily, we want to gently take that heavy, invisible cloak of perfection off your shoulders. We want to sit with you for a moment and tell you a fundamental, healing truth: The perfect pat...

Hey there Friend, Let’s talk about one of the hardest moments on this journey. You’re all set to go. You’ve done the research, you’ve psyched yourself up, you’ve allowed a fragile little seed of hope to take root in your heart. The calendar is marked, the medications are lined up, and you’re ready. And then you get the call. The one that makes the air get sucked out of the room. Your lining isn’t thick enough. An unexpected cyst has appeared on the ultrasound. The test results aren’t what you hoped for. The cycle has to be cancelled. In an instant, the path forward disappears, and you’re left standing in a fog of confusion, frustration, and disappointment. An unexpected hurdle or delay can feel like a physical gut-punch, knocking the wind out of you and making you want to either lash out at the world or curl up in a ball and shut down completely. If you’ve been there, you know. And if you’re there right now, please hear this: your feelings are 100% valid. This is a deeply painful and u...

  Hey there, Parent-to-Be! You’re here. You’ve made it to the third trimester – the final lap of this incredible, long-awaited pregnancy. After the arduous marathon of infertility, after the anxieties and uncertainties of the first and second trimesters, this stage can feel like a monumental achievement, a testament to your unwavering hope and resilience. The finish line, the moment you finally meet your baby, is truly in sight. And yet, as with every phase of pregnancy after infertility, this "final lap" has its own unique emotional landscape. It’s often a potent mix of burgeoning excitement, increasing physical discomfort, a new wave of specific anxieties related to birth and beyond, and a profound sense of disbelief that this dream is actually, truly, coming to fruition. Here at GrowingMyFamily, we want to walk this final stretch with you, acknowledging the complexities and celebrating the incredible strength that has brought you this far. The Shifting Terrain: What Makes ...

If you're walking the path of infertility as a couple, you know this journey, while fueled by so much shared hope and deep love for each other, also brings its own unique set of conversations, decisions, and emotional landscapes for you to navigate together. You're a team, facing one of life's most profound challenges, and like any great team, sometimes having a skilled, compassionate coach in your corner can make all the difference. That's where couple's therapy comes in. Perhaps you've considered it, or maybe you're already finding it to be a valuable support. Or perhaps the idea feels a bit daunting. Wherever you are, we want to talk openly and warmly about why continuing (or starting!) couple's therapy can be such an incredible anchor, a true source of strength and connection, as you move through the often unpredictable waters of your infertility journey and towards your dream of family. More Than Just "Problem Solving" – It's About Dee...

You’ve done it. You’ve navigated the treacherous waters of infertility, and you’re pregnant, or perhaps you’re already holding your precious, long-awaited baby in your arms. This is the moment you dreamed of, fought for, and poured your entire being into achieving. There is immense joy, profound gratitude, and a love that feels boundless. And yet… even amidst this incredible happiness, do you sometimes hear them? Those quiet, insidious worry whispers? That lingering anxiety, that persistent fear of loss, that little voice in the back of your mind that questions if this good thing is truly real, or if it might somehow be taken away? If so, please know from the depths of our hearts at GrowingMyFamily: Y ou are not alone, you are not being "negative," and these feelings are an incredibly common and understandable echo of your infertility journey. The Shadow of "What If": Why Anxiety Lingers So Persistently Infertility is more than just a medical condition; it’s often a...

You’re looking at it. That little stick, that digital display, the one that’s finally, finally showing you the result you’ve yearned for, perhaps for years. A positive pregnancy test. After the relentless journey of infertility, this should be a moment of pure, unadulterated elation, right? And for many, a powerful wave of joy is undeniably there. But if you’re also feeling something else – a weight, a complexity, a sense of this positive being profoundly different from how you once imagined it would feel – you are not alone. This isn't the carefree, "oops, we're pregnant!" announcement you see in movies or perhaps witnessed among friends. This positive test is haunted, in a way, by the ghosts of tests past. It carries the imprint of every negative, every dashed hope, every month of heartbreak that came before. And that history, dear friend, makes this moment uniquely poignant and often, surprisingly heavy. The Weight of a Thousand "No's" Think back on y...