Skip to main content

The Hot Sting of Anger


Hey there, Friend!

Have you ever felt a sudden, hot flash of anger that takes you completely by surprise? Maybe it was sparked by a thoughtless comment over holiday dinner, another "miracle baby" story on your social feed, or just the sheer, infuriating unfairness of it all. It’s a feeling that can be jarring, especially during a season that is supposed to be all about "peace on Earth" and "goodwill to men." You might even feel a wave of guilt follow that anger, whispering that you are being bitter or a "Scrooge."

Let’s be very clear: your anger is not a character flaw. It is more than okay; it is a healthy, powerful, and completely understandable response to the injustice of infertility. Anger is simply the emotion of passion. It shows up when something you care deeply about is being threatened or blocked. It’s a sign that you are fighting, that you haven’t given up, and that you love your future family with a fiery intensity.

Your anger deserves to be understood, not judged. It is fundamentally unfair that something so natural for others is a mountain for you to climb. It is normal to feel betrayed by a body that feels like it’s letting you down. And sometimes, that anger is actually a shield—it is easier to feel the heat of rage than the deep, vulnerable sadness that lies beneath it. It protects your aching heart when the world feels too sharp.

At GrowingMyFamily, we are not afraid of your anger. We welcome it. We invite you to think of it as fuel. It’s the energy that helps you advocate for yourself at the doctor’s office, set a firm boundary with a pushy relative, or just get out of bed on a hard day. It is a vital part of your resilience.

Your Gentle Reminders for the Season:

  • Anger is a healthy, active emotion; it is not "negative."

  • Feeling angry does not make you an ungrateful or bad person.

  • Your anger is a sign of how fiercely you care about your dream.

  • It is okay to feel "not peaceful" during the holidays.

  • You can use this energy to advocate for yourself.

The next time you feel that hot sting, don't push it down. Acknowledge it. You can say to yourself, "I am angry, and I have every right to be." Let it remind you of how fiercely you are fighting for your dream.

We see your fire, and we are in awe of your strength. You are not just surviving this; you are fighting for something beautiful, and your passion is proof of that love.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Woven Threads: How Parenthood Through Biology and Adoption Shaped Our Hearts for Donor Embryos

The paths to building a family are as varied and intricate as the families themselves. Each journey, with its unique twists and turns, shapes us, teaches us, and expands our hearts in ways we might never have anticipated. My own path to the family I cherish today has been woven with distinct, yet beautifully interconnected threads: first, the experience of biological motherhood, then the profound journey of adopting our three children, welcoming another biological child and later, the path of welcoming our two younger sons through the use of donated embryos. It's this rich tapestry of experiences, particularly the deep lessons learned as an adoptive mom, that I believe uniquely prepared my heart and mind for embracing motherhood again through donor embryos. It wasn't about one path being "better" or "easier," but about how each experience informed the next, deepening our understanding of what family truly means. If you're navigating your own complex path...

When Fear Gives Way to Family

Hey there friend! Let's talk about how much things can change. If someone had told me nearly fifteen years ago, when our family was just beginning its adoption journey, what our life would look like today, I would have probably laughed. Or cried. Or both. The person I was back then… I almost cringe thinking about her. She thought she knew everything about how to be a good adoptive parent. The truth is, I had no idea. It feels vulnerable to admit that, but maybe you understand. Maybe you’ve had moments on your own journey where you look back at a past version of yourself with a strange mix of embarrassment and compassion. The things I was so sure of then have been quietly, gently replaced over the years. They've been replaced by a deeper understanding—an understanding that came from listening, really listening, to other adoptive parents, and most importantly, to adult adoptees themselves. Their wisdom has been my greatest teacher, showing me what our kids truly need, the importa...

The Day Our Family Expanded at a Tim Hortons

Some moments in life are so pivotal, so charged with emotion and anticipation, that they etch themselves into your memory with vivid clarity. For us, one such moment unfolded on a Thursday afternoon in May. The setting was unassuming: a corner table at a Tim Hortons. But what happened there wasn't just a meeting; it was the beginning of a new chapter, the day our family story expanded in the most beautiful and unexpected way. It was the day we first met our younger sons' genetic parents. Our journey to this Tim Hortons table had been, like so many of yours, one filled with hope, longing, and the unique path of donor conception. We had chosen to build our family using donor embryos—a decision we made with careful thought and immense gratitude. We knew, intellectually, that this meeting was important, a step towards the open and honest family we envisioned. But nothing quite prepared us for the emotions of that afternoon. There was a nervousness, of course. What would they be lik...