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Discovering Happiness, Even During Treatment


Does it ever feel like you've put your happiness on hold?

  • "I'll be happy when this cycle works."
  • "I'll relax once we get a positive test."
  • "I'll feel joy when I'm holding my baby."

It's so easy to defer our happiness to a future outcome that is completely uncertain. We tell ourselves it's a way to protect our hearts, but in reality, it just means we miss out on the possibility of joy, contentment, and peace in the here and now. The waiting, the hoping, the emotional rollercoaster—it can feel like there’s no room for anything else.

If this sounds familiar, if you feel like you're living your life in a waiting room, you are not alone. This is one of the most common experiences on a treatment journey. This lesson is a gentle but firm reminder: You deserve to experience happiness today, even in the midst of a difficult cycle.

The Postponement of Happiness

Putting our joy on layaway feels like a smart emotional strategy. We think that if we don't get too happy, if we don't fully live our lives, then the potential disappointment won't hurt as much. But the truth is, a negative outcome is going to be painful regardless. The only thing we accomplish by postponing our happiness is guaranteeing that we feel less joy right now. We rob our present selves of peace in an attempt to protect a future self who will need all the resilience she can get—resilience that is built by finding moments of light in the darkness.

Your Guide to Present-Moment Joy

This isn't about pretending everything is okay or forcing a smile. It's about intentionally and gently looking for the small, good things that already exist in your life, right alongside the struggle.

Shift Your Focus from the Future to the Present

The practice is simple, but not always easy. It's about consciously looking for pockets of good in your day. Instead of living in the anxious "what if" of the future, try to anchor yourself in the reality of "what is" right now. The goal is to notice that your life is more than just your treatment.

Tune Into Your Sensory Pleasures

Our senses are powerful gateways to the present moment. They can pull us out of the anxious thought-loops in our minds and ground us in our bodies. Try to slow down and really notice: the rich taste of your morning coffee, the feeling of the warm sun on your skin for just a few moments, the sound of a favorite song, or the smell of rain on the pavement. These small sensory pleasures are always available to us, if we just pause to pay attention.

Savor Moments of Connection

Joy is often found not in grand events, but in our simple connections with others (and with nature and our pets!). When your partner says something kind, really let it land. When your pet curls up on your lap, savor the feeling of their warmth and steady breathing. When you're talking to a friend, try to be fully present in the conversation, listening with your whole self. These moments of connection are the true fabric of a happy life.

Practice Active Gratitude

Gratitude is the fastest, most effective way to shift your perspective from what's lacking to what's abundant. At the end of each day, think of three specific things you are grateful for, no matter how small. "I'm grateful for the supportive text my friend sent." "I'm grateful that I had time for a 10-minute walk." "I'm grateful for this warm, comfortable bed." Gratitude doesn't erase the hardship, but it proves that joy can coexist with it.

Give Yourself Unapologetic Permission for Happiness

This is the most important step. You must give yourself permission to laugh, to have fun, and to feel good without a shred of guilt. Your joy does not diminish the seriousness of your struggle. Your laughter does not mean you're not taking this seriously. Your happiness is not a betrayal of your grief. In fact, it is a vital act of resilience. It is the fuel that will help you keep going.

Friend, your life is happening right now, in this very moment. Don't miss it while you're waiting for the future. Look around you. What is one small, good thing you can notice today? That is where your joy begins.

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